I am way too busy

Organic chem is eating me alive, and immunology requires a ton of time. On top of that, my TA job is way too annoying and time-consuming to be worth it.

On a happier note, someone I love and appreciate called me last night right after I'd gone to bed (lying awake, mulling over this horrible evening I'd just had) and made me come over so he could talk to me and make me feel better. It was awesome. Exactly what I needed. Thanks, God.

Also, I ran into this guy who is funny and interesting but not really my type, and we had a fantastic conversation. I love fantastic conversations! Why am I bothering with school, when I could just hang out with my friends forever? Oh, yeah, that's right. Because I have to actually take responsibility for my own life! Wait a second... shouldn't welfare take care of that?

Am going to apply for an AP internship. If I get it, it will determine the course of the rest of my life (I will probably become a journalist instead of an epidemiologist). Yikes. I don't know if I want it or not, but I know I should apply and give the decision up to God. Why is he giving me an editor's desk and a biology research project at the same time? Why can't he make it easy and only open doors in one direction??? WHY?

Perhaps I actually do have to make the decision myself. If so, then I still don't know what to do. I think my decision is a polite request that God make the decision for me. How am I supposed to know how I will be more effective in this world? Shouldn't he know better than I? He certainly can see and analyze more variables than I can. Doctor... journalist... doctor... journalist... I love both.

In the meantime, I am doing my very best not to fall for any of the guys around me. They're all so frickin' awesome, in different ways. I must not be distracted!