Relationship Manifesto
Ok, so the whole "take chances, make mistakes" spirit of my previous post has produced only misery and sorrow. Ok, just frustration right now. But I'm looking ahead.
Is there an answer in great literature? Is there an answer in the Bible? ARE there any answers??? One friend tells me, GO OUT THERE AND GET YOURSELF A MAN!!! Mom tells me, I found another guy for you to marry! Another friend says, if you're not in a relationship then something is wrong. What? With me?
What would Elizabeth Bennet do? She would laugh it off. That's what she would do. Yep.
She was under pressure, too! If she had been a weaker, less confident person, she might have settled for Mr. Collins! But she didn't.
Ok, I can't use this anymore. The P&P analogy moves into the male arena and I lose all hope of sanity. I already have a guy in mind who, to all necessary extent, resembles Fitzwilliam Darcy. Uh, helloooo, Cara. Didn't we decide to give up on this guy?!?! MOVE ON.
What would Rosalind do? She would be daring and creative and awesome even dressed up as a man. I mean, how many women can make a guy fall in love with them while they're pretending to be a man pretending to be themselves?!?!?!
What would Lara do? Suffer and die? At least she had passion!
What would Elinor do? What about Marianne? Why didn't Elinor marry Colonel Brandon, huh? They got along so well, and Edward was a wuss. Oh well. That's the way life is sometimes, Mrs. Lair (my high school English teacher) explained. You don't always get to marry the one you truly love.
What would Bridget Jones do? Well, pretty much what I'm doing--eat chocolate, wander around her apartment alone, and obsessively overanalyze everything. AND SHE ENDS UP WITH A DARCY!!! Darn you, Mark/Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Hmmm, I wonder if Ruth was afraid of utter rejection when she went after Boaz. Boaz was really the one who noticed her first, though. She was just working hard and trying to help Naomi... I doubt he would have liked and respected her if she'd been parading around, trying to get his attention. Would I respect myself if my efforts to get male attention were rewarded? Would I trust the reward? Of course not! Favor won can be lost, and I know I would never be able to be Nice, Charming, Graceful, and Perfectly Made-Up every day. Eventually I will be a disappointment. But I do have godly qualities which are part of my character, not part of the mask I wear to try to impress people.
So should I just wait? I thought I just wrote a whole post about how that's not going to cut it anymore! What the heck???
And here is the point in the though process where I realize that I don't have as much faith in God as I think I do. Maybe I say I do, but I am not living my life like I do. I'm not allowing the truth that I know to guide my actions and emotional reactions to everyday situations. This, then, is what I need to work on. I don't need to be more adventurous or confident or charming or whatever. I just need to love God more, know him more, be his child. It's about time I let myself be someone's child.
Is there an answer in great literature? Is there an answer in the Bible? ARE there any answers??? One friend tells me, GO OUT THERE AND GET YOURSELF A MAN!!! Mom tells me, I found another guy for you to marry! Another friend says, if you're not in a relationship then something is wrong. What? With me?
What would Elizabeth Bennet do? She would laugh it off. That's what she would do. Yep.
She was under pressure, too! If she had been a weaker, less confident person, she might have settled for Mr. Collins! But she didn't.
Ok, I can't use this anymore. The P&P analogy moves into the male arena and I lose all hope of sanity. I already have a guy in mind who, to all necessary extent, resembles Fitzwilliam Darcy. Uh, helloooo, Cara. Didn't we decide to give up on this guy?!?! MOVE ON.
What would Rosalind do? She would be daring and creative and awesome even dressed up as a man. I mean, how many women can make a guy fall in love with them while they're pretending to be a man pretending to be themselves?!?!?!
What would Lara do? Suffer and die? At least she had passion!
What would Elinor do? What about Marianne? Why didn't Elinor marry Colonel Brandon, huh? They got along so well, and Edward was a wuss. Oh well. That's the way life is sometimes, Mrs. Lair (my high school English teacher) explained. You don't always get to marry the one you truly love.
What would Bridget Jones do? Well, pretty much what I'm doing--eat chocolate, wander around her apartment alone, and obsessively overanalyze everything. AND SHE ENDS UP WITH A DARCY!!! Darn you, Mark/Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Hmmm, I wonder if Ruth was afraid of utter rejection when she went after Boaz. Boaz was really the one who noticed her first, though. She was just working hard and trying to help Naomi... I doubt he would have liked and respected her if she'd been parading around, trying to get his attention. Would I respect myself if my efforts to get male attention were rewarded? Would I trust the reward? Of course not! Favor won can be lost, and I know I would never be able to be Nice, Charming, Graceful, and Perfectly Made-Up every day. Eventually I will be a disappointment. But I do have godly qualities which are part of my character, not part of the mask I wear to try to impress people.
So should I just wait? I thought I just wrote a whole post about how that's not going to cut it anymore! What the heck???
And here is the point in the though process where I realize that I don't have as much faith in God as I think I do. Maybe I say I do, but I am not living my life like I do. I'm not allowing the truth that I know to guide my actions and emotional reactions to everyday situations. This, then, is what I need to work on. I don't need to be more adventurous or confident or charming or whatever. I just need to love God more, know him more, be his child. It's about time I let myself be someone's child.
posted by Cara at
6:15 PM
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