Cheesy? You decide...
It has come upon me that I don't seem like a very happy person.
This comes from several sources: Mom, ever-vigilant to notice anything that might repel "the boys;" my last blog entry, which contained much less happiness than should have been reflected; Brett Einerson's accusation that I am a man-basher; Adam Gilberston's insistence that I am a cynic; and self-analysis.
And then I watched the movie "Harvey" tonight. It stars a charming-beyond-reason Jimmy Stewart, whom I want to marry (sadly, he's already dead), and is a delightful film. Stewart's character, Elwood P. Dowd, states, "I've learned that in life you can either be very smart, or every pleasant, and, well, I recommend pleasant," or something like that. Smart or pleasant. It's true that you can be both smart and pleasant at the same time, but probably not as easily as I thought.
Everyone loves Elwood. I love Elwood, and if you knew him, you'd love him too. He's so happy and calm, even when people are being really mean to him. He never holds anything against anyone. I guess I need concrete examples sometimes, to realize what I want to be. Obviously I want to be like Christ, but it's easy to forget that the second someone insults or ignores me. I'm a very visual person, and to observe someone acting with utter kindness and sincerity really inspires me...
So, I'm resolving to be more like Elwood. I don't want to be offended so easily. I don't want to come off as a man-hating cynic (eeeew, I am just completely horrified that people see me that way). I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job, with expected failings along the way, but I must be deluding myself.
If becoming a nicer, more pleasant person is cheesy, well, bring on the cheese. I'd rather be thought of as pleasant than smart, if I have to pick. Hopefully I can be both. I don't want to be insincere, which is always a risk. That's one reason I find it hard to say straight out how I feel about people--I feel so darn cheesy and redundant. Also my words might be taken the wrong way. I'm just not good with words. I want to spout Shakespeare at a moment's notice, but I can barely come up with Shel Silverstein.
And writing is the place where I pour out my fast and deep emotions, so sometimes I probably seem more angry or hurt or hateful in my writing that I want to convey. Aw, rats. everything is so kittywompus (hahaha, told Angie I'd use that word in a sentence today... she is so cute when she says it I can't even stand it).
So, flowers, then. I'll try to talk about more flowers, to put some more beauty into this world, like Offred. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, let me know and I'll be thrilled.
Gonna go pray now. Need more prayer in my life. Just finished Till We Have Faces--marvelous. God loves me, even though I've screwed up so much. It's just wonderful, isn't it?
This comes from several sources: Mom, ever-vigilant to notice anything that might repel "the boys;" my last blog entry, which contained much less happiness than should have been reflected; Brett Einerson's accusation that I am a man-basher; Adam Gilberston's insistence that I am a cynic; and self-analysis.
And then I watched the movie "Harvey" tonight. It stars a charming-beyond-reason Jimmy Stewart, whom I want to marry (sadly, he's already dead), and is a delightful film. Stewart's character, Elwood P. Dowd, states, "I've learned that in life you can either be very smart, or every pleasant, and, well, I recommend pleasant," or something like that. Smart or pleasant. It's true that you can be both smart and pleasant at the same time, but probably not as easily as I thought.
Everyone loves Elwood. I love Elwood, and if you knew him, you'd love him too. He's so happy and calm, even when people are being really mean to him. He never holds anything against anyone. I guess I need concrete examples sometimes, to realize what I want to be. Obviously I want to be like Christ, but it's easy to forget that the second someone insults or ignores me. I'm a very visual person, and to observe someone acting with utter kindness and sincerity really inspires me...
So, I'm resolving to be more like Elwood. I don't want to be offended so easily. I don't want to come off as a man-hating cynic (eeeew, I am just completely horrified that people see me that way). I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job, with expected failings along the way, but I must be deluding myself.
If becoming a nicer, more pleasant person is cheesy, well, bring on the cheese. I'd rather be thought of as pleasant than smart, if I have to pick. Hopefully I can be both. I don't want to be insincere, which is always a risk. That's one reason I find it hard to say straight out how I feel about people--I feel so darn cheesy and redundant. Also my words might be taken the wrong way. I'm just not good with words. I want to spout Shakespeare at a moment's notice, but I can barely come up with Shel Silverstein.
And writing is the place where I pour out my fast and deep emotions, so sometimes I probably seem more angry or hurt or hateful in my writing that I want to convey. Aw, rats. everything is so kittywompus (hahaha, told Angie I'd use that word in a sentence today... she is so cute when she says it I can't even stand it).
So, flowers, then. I'll try to talk about more flowers, to put some more beauty into this world, like Offred. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, let me know and I'll be thrilled.
Gonna go pray now. Need more prayer in my life. Just finished Till We Have Faces--marvelous. God loves me, even though I've screwed up so much. It's just wonderful, isn't it?
posted by Cara at
11:34 PM
1 Comments:
Well, that's a good thing to aspire to. But I don't think it's necessary to give up smartness for pleasantness. In fact, I don't see how they correlate at all. But maybe I just have a warped sense of what it means to be pleasant. I view myself as pleasant, so maybe that's the problem :)
Although, I don't think there is anything wrong with cynicism, necessarily. It should consume us so we are Debbie Downers, but I think it can contribute positively to our identity.
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