Funny, a black pit of death
Okay, things are not really that bad. That's just sort of how my prof Dr. Dillner described graduating from Bethel. She'd just broken up with a boyfriend of 4 years, and she had no idea what she really wanted to do with her life. She said it was like staring into a pit.
I will not face graduation like that, however. I refuse to. I am excited. I look forward to not having constant homework hanging over my head like an academic sword of Damocles. I can't wait to play summer softball and join a broomball league in the winter! I want to start writing regularly, maybe for a magazine, and start playing the guitar again. I would like to buy a dog, but that's probably not feasible right now. The point is, I refuse to be terrified. Okay, maybe I'm just a little terrified.
Perhaps that's why I'm sticking around here a year longer before PA school. I don't want to lose these peope so quickly, even though most of my top friends are leaving the Cities.... Jamie, Elizabeth, Billy, Celeste. I feel like they're dying.
Does anyone else find this entire situation fundamentally disturbing? I think that this system is ridiculous! We, Young People, are thrown headfirst into a social-LSD-trip-cum-intellectual-pressure cooker, stimulated to grown and change in ways we'd never imagined possible, encouraged to build thrilling friendships and relationships with people we come to adore, and then BAM. You're out on your proverbial ass, and welcome to the real world. Your happy little group of friends traveling down this highway of life gets roadside-mined. Everyone gets married and goes to the same therapist for their depression issues stemming from extreme separation from their social network (this I heard from several of my friends) or moves to another country or goes on to med or grad school and begins the entire process all over again, and does anyone stop to think, wait, this isn't right???
I don't want my friends to leave! I have never had friends like these before! Never! I understand that many many people do it, but I don't have to be happy about it. I am going to miss these people very, very much. A very unique part of my life is actually ending, and there's real justification for sadness. But I can still look forward to the future, so I intend to meet May 25th with head held high and a big stupid grin on my college-grad face.
Ah, but will I have a job? Hmmmmm.
-Cara
I will not face graduation like that, however. I refuse to. I am excited. I look forward to not having constant homework hanging over my head like an academic sword of Damocles. I can't wait to play summer softball and join a broomball league in the winter! I want to start writing regularly, maybe for a magazine, and start playing the guitar again. I would like to buy a dog, but that's probably not feasible right now. The point is, I refuse to be terrified. Okay, maybe I'm just a little terrified.
Perhaps that's why I'm sticking around here a year longer before PA school. I don't want to lose these peope so quickly, even though most of my top friends are leaving the Cities.... Jamie, Elizabeth, Billy, Celeste. I feel like they're dying.
Does anyone else find this entire situation fundamentally disturbing? I think that this system is ridiculous! We, Young People, are thrown headfirst into a social-LSD-trip-cum-intellectual-pressure cooker, stimulated to grown and change in ways we'd never imagined possible, encouraged to build thrilling friendships and relationships with people we come to adore, and then BAM. You're out on your proverbial ass, and welcome to the real world. Your happy little group of friends traveling down this highway of life gets roadside-mined. Everyone gets married and goes to the same therapist for their depression issues stemming from extreme separation from their social network (this I heard from several of my friends) or moves to another country or goes on to med or grad school and begins the entire process all over again, and does anyone stop to think, wait, this isn't right???
I don't want my friends to leave! I have never had friends like these before! Never! I understand that many many people do it, but I don't have to be happy about it. I am going to miss these people very, very much. A very unique part of my life is actually ending, and there's real justification for sadness. But I can still look forward to the future, so I intend to meet May 25th with head held high and a big stupid grin on my college-grad face.
Ah, but will I have a job? Hmmmmm.
-Cara
posted by Cara at
7:17 PM
2 Comments:
Hi Cara, I'm glad to see you're approaching graduation from both angles. It IS tough, isn't it? We can grieve together, I'm having some difficulties accepting another graduation. haha. It does suck though, I got connected in a really awesome small group and I HATE to leave them. I've never really connected this well with a church group before.
So you indicated you're living in St. Paul? But you are not sure what you'll be doing yet? No prob necessarily.
By
Display Name, at 7:44 PM
ps-on my last post made at my blog you had asked where i applied. i applied to uw-madison, notre dame, and u of mn. i got rejected by the first two but u of mn accepted me. so i'll be back in st. paul in the fall.
By
Display Name, at 7:46 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home